With the start of any new school year come fresh faces, evolving philosophies and scores of changes coming from all around us. I am intrigued every year to see the maturity in many of our students, and to see the new students who are still trying to process, digest, and resolve many questions about themselves, their families and their new environment. I call this process, finding the mark.
When I was about sixteen, a guy whom I believed was really old, (I think he was in his late 50's) gave me some sought after advice. Like many young people it took me several years to completely digest all of the ramifications of the counsel he had given me, but the advice did begin to have an immediate impact.
His advice was clear and resounded deeply within me, “stay clear of the precipice by determining which side of the mark you will stand on, and then don't cross that mark.” At this young age I was unsure about what a precipice was, and what mark he was referring, but days, months, and years into the future, this sound advice help me to make critical decisions as a teen, a father, and a coach. It also helped in making most of life's decisions easier, because I had already determined where my mark was.
Determining where our mark is develops as we determine where and what our ethical compass is. Without guidance from parents, teachers, coaches and religious leaders, we may struggle to find that mark. Consequently when it comes time to make tough decisions we get right up to the edge of the precipice, and sometimes fall over, because we either have no mark, or we have not chosen where we stand in relationship to the mark. Even with great guidance, determining our mark can be complicated as attitudes, ideas, and philosophies are influence by the media, friends and environment.
As a young coach just recently hired at a prior University, the President called my office asking me to play golf. I was eager and excited to play golf with the University President and to begin to develop a relationship with him that would be beneficial to my team and the community. The problem was that he wanted to play on a Sunday, which for me is a non-golf day. My mark for Sunday activities had been drawn years earlier; for me Sunday play was out, so the decision was not a difficult one.
Finding our mark, deciding where our line is, for many of us and particularly young people, may be a formidable trial. Deciding early in life and sticking by any decision based on sound principles, will allow us the freedom of not getting bogged down each and every time a challenge or tough choice is placed in front of us. We just have to stay behind our mark.
As we get older and hopefully more mature, our mark should become more defined and straighter. Ethical marks that look akin to a heart beat on an EKG machine often lead to despair, anguish and at the very least indecision. My golf game struggles because for the most part I don't hit the ball very straight.
I get to see a whole lot of the beautiful golf course, and in some respects really get my monies worth, but playing side to side results in bad scores, and spending all my energy confused and not knowing which direction to go. In golf and in life, staying on the mark is frequently better for everyone.
