I had an interesting discussion last week with a friend. In the process of the debate I expressed my belief, which is certainly not an original thought by me, “that we are all a sum of our collective choices”. This idea, which I have long perpetuated with my teams and my family, makes us accountable, not for the actions that necessarily befall us, but how we react to them.
After all, many things occur in our lives that we have little or no control over. Control and the lack thereof, starts when we are young, living with our parents and guardians and making measured choices. The choices we make as children, and the choices we make as parents, begin to accumulate, mold, and influence our personalities, most of the time without much thought or planning. This is where life and the value we place on choice can get really sticky.
If we break down our choices in an athletic experience, it is easy to see how choices influence the outcome of the event and the season that we are participating in. Often the choices may seem overwhelming and confusing, especially to the very young and inexperienced players. This is where the understanding and leadership of the older, and presumably wiser team members, and coaching staff, come into play. I have always asserted that the best choices are made by reducing the choice to the lowest common denominator; in other words simplify the choice. Very often coaches and parents complicate task and issues to make us look smarter, the task more difficult, or perhaps to boost our own ego. All the while complicating the choice and making the game more difficult.
After all in baseball if we cannot play catch, why do we worry about getting the signs correct? In basketball is running the correct play so important when a player cannot make layups or free-throws? One of my favorite coaching sayings is based upon my limited capacity to process information; the more choices that need to be made during a game, the slower our feet move. Because foot speed is imperative to athletic success, as a coach I design practices, and game scenarios, that limit the decisions I may have to make. Because I have committed the particular action to memory or repetitive success I have a developed a positive habit. My choice is to commit the time and energy to further develop that positive habit.
In life, compelling choices into positive habits requires personal discipline, a pledge of time and resources, and an intense desire to determine our own destiny. Conflicts of moral choice, lack of personal values, and distractions from our goals place us in precarious positions of compromise that very often result in frustration and lack of success. Allowing children to make, and realize the consequences of their choices, provides them with tools to better manage their lives as they progress into adulthood. As we mature we should look to be the summation of our earned choices and habits, not the result of being rescued from natural immaturity, learning, and earning.
